Monday, January 31, 2011
Why women need support in labor
I write this because I feel I didn't arrange for the proper support for my births and of course I didn't realize that until after the babies were born. With Z I just had no idea. I did nothing at all to prepare for the birth. That one was my bad. I'm glad my mom was there she was great. Next baby I want my mom there for sure! She sometimes just knows. She can read me better than anyone. She knows my face for "get your hands off me now". With Ry's birth I think I was scared because I pretty much had an unassisted pregnancy with very little care from a doctor. I knew things wouldn't go well the second my doctor told me that he would be out of town right around the time I was due. I should have done something about it. I should have found the right support for labor. I should have listened to my friend Heather and gotten a midwife and birthed at home. It was too foreign of a thing for me at that point. No one told me anything convincing about it other than I should do it. That wasn't enough for me. Since having a c-section I get it now I regret going to that hospital. Women need support in labor so their wishes can be met. So many people including my husband believe that doctors and nurses know everything. Obviously that's not true. No doctor or nurse can know how I will react to certain medications or interventions. I'm hurt beyond measure that my husband put his trust in the nurse instead of me. I'm hurt that I knew what would happen and tried to prevent it. I asked him to do stuff, told him how I needed him to react in certain situations. I told him the nurse would try and pressure us into stuff using different scare tactics and that we needed to reevaluate what she was saying to us so we could see if it was really necessary. Instead at the first sign of her being on edge because she wanted to start pitocin he just went with what she was saying. A woman we had never met, someone we didn't know. We didn't know how many births she had done, if it was the end of her shift. If she had a long day and just wanted to keep me in the bed so she didn't have to deal with me. That's what it seemed like. So I feel betrayed by my own husband and now I trust no medical person at all. I probably never will again. This is exactly why women need support in labor someone who will treat their pregnancy and labor like what it is not like its a disease that needs to be monitored, drugged and rushed on a timeline. True some people have complications but I did not. Do yourself a favor find a midwife and a doula and birth in a center or at home. Don't treat your pregnancy like a disease unless something truly is wrong with you or your child that makes it necessary to birth in a hospital.