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Saturday, January 15, 2011

I'm embarassed

I feel like this makes me a horrible mother. My 2yo is perfectly healthy he's just over 30 pounds. He's a great eater and is very healthy. My 9mo is a great eater as well he eats so much I'm surprised he's not incredibly fat. But he's small he's so tiny 13.5 pounds. It makes me feel like crap. Everyone elses 9mo's are huge. They have rolls and are chunky. Not my son. He's tiny. He's always been tiny though. Was 5.5lbs at birth. But Z his brother was an ounce shy of 6lbs at birth. They were both tiny, yet Z is normal and Ry is so tiny. The only difference between them is Z was formula fed from age 4mo because I was booby trapped. My milk supply was low because I wasn't drinking enough water, was stressed from all the moving about and he didn't have a good latch. Every doctor I've talked to has just pushed formula our way for Ry. I don't trust doctors or nurses or really anyone for that matter. I was pushed to do stuff I didn't want to do. I was told things that weren't true to scare me into submission. Now I trust no one. I barely trust myself. I'm always second guessing what I do. So I'm afraid for my son. I'm afraid that what I'm doing is not enough. I nurse him on demand and through the entire night. He eats babyfood well. I feed him as much as he will eat. He likes yogurt, bananas and avocado. We use some jarred food because I just cannot make every single thing he eats. Does anyone else have a small baby what did you do to avoid people judging you or to avoid it stinging so bad when they do. I'm sick of the comments on how small my son is and the suggestions of formula. I'm just upset. I'm really upset. Thanks for listening.

7 comments:

  1. My first and third babies weren't chunky either. They weren't that small but their birth weights were higher than yours. If you're not already I suggest that you find and download the WHO growth charts. They are used for breastfeeding babies being the norm, vs the AAP growth chart which is based on formula feeding babies. That might make you feel better to see that the percentage your child is in is probably higher than what your doctor is telling you.

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  2. Thanks it's Nice to hear it from other moms. I need the reassurance because more often than not I hear what I'm apparently doing wrong.

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  3. I think you are doing great! My two daughters are almost three years apart, but can share most clothes. In fact, it's a running joke in our house that I don't have to take an extra pair of clothes for our 4 year old in the car because she can wear her sister's stuff, who is not yet 2 years old. Both have been breastfeed the same amount of time. They just have different body types. Hang in there Momma!

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  4. I can understand how you feel too. I get comments about my kids being small, when 2 of the 3 of them are just on the low end of the chart. Some people are small afterall! Good for you for not being bullied into formula too! I think people are so used to seeing formula fat babies everywhere, they don't know what most breastfed babies look like anymore.

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  5. Our youngest is tiny too... Has been since he was a baby and he's almost 8 now. It's ok. you're doing fine.

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  6. Thanks your comments talk me off the ledge when I know there are other babies who are small like my Ry is.

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